You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
