Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
