he shaved USA in his pubs
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
