I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
