I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
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