Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Randomize
