She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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