You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Are my feet made of real feet?
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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