I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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