so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
this will be a night to untag.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
