my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
