Dignity is for republicans.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
