Kiss
Puke
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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