I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
