Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
