so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
