Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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