what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize