oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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