I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
