the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
