I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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