I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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