Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
