Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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