I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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