UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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