awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I understand Curling. That high.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
