I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize