I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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