I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
