Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize
