I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
