the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
