I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
