I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize