I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Randomize
