all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
