This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Randomize
