I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
My hand turned me down
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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