i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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