Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
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