Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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