Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
