I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Oh god it's open bar.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
