I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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