If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
