why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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