i always forget guys have bellybuttons
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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