you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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