I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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