so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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