you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Randomize
