white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
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