She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
