At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
