Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize