haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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