I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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