omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Let's get the cat blown out
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
